Home For a Rest

3 days ago my husband called my dad.  He told him that it stops here.  That if he needs to communicate anything with us, he can call my husband.  No more showing up.  He told him that if he continues to show up, despite all of our communication about how upsetting it is and all of our requests that he stop, we will involve the police.  

It caused me some real anxiety for a few hours.  I kept having to push away this sick feeling, the same awful feeling I get every time we have to re-enforce our boundaries.  Where my stomach feels weird and my heart beats too fast.  And then I said to my husband, "that was the right call to make, right?" and he said it was absolutely the right call to make and it was long overdue.  I knew in my heart he was right.  I began to feel a bit lighter.  By bedtime, felt like I could breath easier.  The next day, I felt lighter still.  I fell playing with my daughter and injured my leg and still felt better.  I felt relieved that my problem that day was a hurt leg, not my parents coming at me.  Yesterday, I began to feel a bit free, like I did right after I shut down communication with my mom.  I got my first solid night of sleep in weeks.  

I know the hard parts aren't over, but I am just so grateful for a break.  I had been feeling less and less able to cope with it.  I feel so unbelievably relieved to know that my dad will not show up any time soon.  I am grateful to feel like I can relax in my own home.  

As much as I doubt our decision to move and feel uneasy about giving up our life here, this feeling let's me know that it will be worth it.  I want a life where they can't get to me.  I want a peaceful life.