Leaving These Things Behind

The summer of rental property cleanup has finally come to an end.  The relief is sweet.  I feel like this is the day I want to leave these things behind.  I don't want to hold onto any of it.  It's over.  And with it, I want to leave behind the meeting with my mom.  The neighbour who yelled.  The night the dog barked for hours.  The card in the mailbox.  I have been taking each of these things and putting them in a backpack and hauling them around.  Oh look, there's something to feel mad about, I should stop and pick it up.

Yesterday when I got to Lipton for my last day of cleaning, the garbage I had put out back the day before had been dumped, spread across the back lane and then been peed on.  I got this strange feeling that it was the tenant who left me with this mess who had come and done it and I could almost climb into the moment he did it.  What I felt was pity for him, because he knew that he wasn't peeing on my stuff.  He was peeing on his own life.  Sure, I had to clean it up, but then I got to leave it behind.  He marked it.  His garbage.  His life.  He went to the dump with it.  His DNA, claiming his failures.  I put gloves on, cleaned it up, had it hauled away and I walked away.  The back lane looked better than before he trashed it.  The last of him was gone from my life and he was his own responsibility again.

I changed my clothes, closed the door and drove away.  I went to Starbucks, ordered a tea and began the next part of my life.  I took out my iPad and readied myself.  When it was time to get Ivy, we went to the park and Jen and I sat and talked while Ivy and Sammy played.  Ivy and I went to the Keg and ate on the patio.  I came home and slept deep and peacefully.  I woke up and laughed out loud at the beauty of it being over.

And so it is, my road to no contact has been walked.  It's time to travel a new road.  Good bye, old blog.  Thank you ♡